I saw the news earlier this month that James Van Der Beek died. Sad.
I’m not going to pretend I followed him closely. I knew of him. Not really my thing. But I did a little reading and it sounds like he was a stand-up guy who loved his wife and kids and handled his life with a lot of integrity.
I also remember a scene in Varsity Blues.
He plays Mox, the backup quarterback in a town where football is basically religion and the adults act like a high school game is life or death. The coach is obsessed with winning, control, and using kids as tools. Mox is smart enough to see the whole thing for what it is, and at one point he finally snaps and says, “I don’t want your life.”
That line is dramatic. It’s also true.
Most people never say that sentence out loud.
They drift into somebody else’s script. Somebody else’s priorities. Somebody else’s pace. Somebody else’s definition of success. They spend years chasing a life that looks impressive from the outside, then wake up confused when it feels empty.
For me, the lesson is simple.
Don’t want someone else’s life.
Don’t want their highlight reel. Don’t want their stress. Don’t want their marriage. Don’t want their schedule.
Don’t want the version of success that comes with a price you do not actually want to pay.
Choose your life on purpose.
Because drifting is easy. And it’s the fastest way to end up living a life you never even picked.